Sunday, February 1, 2015

Her AND story

She was sitting at her desk in her old room. In less than a month, she will no more be able to call this her own in the same way as she can now. In less than a month, she will be married off into another household where she has to start this journey of growing relationships all over again. The past roots will slowly fade away while the newer ones will drop anchor. She thought the former was impossible. But time proved her wrong. In less than a month, the custom-made single bed, just like the way she wanted, will no more be enough. She will have to finally walk out of the safety of the room and embark upon a journey that was unknown and made her feel giddy in the head.
He was a good ten years or older than her. He was the only son who has lost his mother at an early age. His father was getting old; he needed someone to take care of the household. He did not know whether he needed a wife, but he knew that he needed a homemaker – someone who will nourish the family, keep the engines of the family well oiled so that everything functioned smoothly without any hiccups.
She loved to sing; had a lovely voice. Music was something that had been her companion all her life till then. Music had stood by her in good stead. She reveled in the whole experience of being able to lose oneself in the intricacies of a melody. But everything changed. Music never left her. She left music; was forced to abandon her longest companion. Many years later she would break down in tears when she would find her voice lost; the muscles no more having that flexibility that allowed her to sing. She failed to recognize her own voice when she sang.
She soon gave birth to a boy, which was quickly followed by a girl. She had her hands full. She immersed herself in ‘her family’, taking care of the children, the husband, the house. The rhythm of her life was defined by them. She could not continue to be the darling daughter that she was, the youngest of all her siblings. With each passing year the strings tying her to the family she was born into frayed while new strings were being tied in a new family. It drained her; weakened her. She forgot to question why could she not be strong and have both – the ties of the past intertwined with the new ones.
Her well oiled engine suddenly began to splutter and cough. Her husband was diagnosed with a killer disease with the doctor giving not much time. This time she refused to give up. This time she refused to make a choice and decided to be both. She became the provider for the family, while continuing to be the nurturer. She proved herself wrong. She proved those around her wrong. Most of all, she proved him wrong. She realized that she did not know her true self – while she made a choice between the two, deep down she did not want to choose. She wanted to be the daughter and the wife and the mother and the boss and...

'This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus'


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